


Akatsuki So Sexy

by Andra_Black



Series: Old Works [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Humor, Moderately Lewd, Other, old works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 03:49:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7602223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andra_Black/pseuds/Andra_Black
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A perverted rant about the Akatsuki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Akatsuki So Sexy

**Author's Note:**

> This was moved from Fanfiction.net and partially dedicated to LoverOfAkatsuki.

Akatsuki, oh Akatsuki! Such godly and corrupted men, (and woman)! But why would I say that? True, they all have their setbacks, such as their intent to kill (for the most part), but that just makes them all the more... Whatever word you wish to put here.

We'll start from the first Akatsuki to make their appearance down to the last on what lewd thoughts I have on each member.

Itachi- Seventy-two hours of Torture, you say? If all goes well I'll be going for seventy-two hours of pleasure. Just a glimpse at those blood stained eyes and you'll be swept off your feet! That silken ebony hair and fair skin makes you feel like you're in the arms of a sinful being!

Kisame- Okay, when I see a beast, I see a freaking beast! His exotic skin, those animalistic eyes, and those chompers that are sure to leave a mark (if you prefer a biter) reminds you that you are definitely being preyed upon. Just imagine all that muscle literally pounding you so hard you're seeing stars. I'd go for that anytime! (Which is why he's my favorite)

Deidara- I'm really starting to wonder WHY IN THE HELL people keep calling him transvestite! DO YOU NOT HEAR HIS VOICE?! Oooh~! I would MELT in his arms if he spoke in my ear with that voice! So deep and with that foreign tilt, that grunt he uses. So sexy! And let's not forget those hands! Oh the things he could do with those hands! And the time he took off his shirt! I swear I was going to squeal!

Sasori-Manipulation. That's all I have to say. Those sinful eyes, those SEXY eyes! They would draw you in with their piercing russet orbs. And his puppet strings! Uncontrolled masturbation anyone?! Or a sick, twisted gangbang with a hundred puppets? I'm really not that picky when it comes to sexual fetishes.

Tobi- He is just as bad of a manipulator than Sasori! That "good boy" persona is very deceiving, I'm telling you. It's only a matter of time... Oh what am I saying he's just too irresistible!

Zetsu- Another perfect source of gangbang. I frankly don't have any qualms about his appearance, in fact, I find it quite kinky. And his cannibalism? To be honest, I'd jump him on sight if I could assure that he wasn't going to eat me, other than that, I've always held a liking for gore.

Kakuzu- I know that you were waiting to see this name, Olivia. But anyways, who's up for some S&M? He may be, what some may call, old, but don't let that fool you. Those stitches and not so jolly Christmas colored eyes really give off a dominating demeanor, won't you say? (I have a tendency for the dominating men) and judging by his size... enough said.

Hidan- A perfect match for girls, or boys if you go that way, that like dirty talk. His sadism is quite the catch also, so it might be better to get in a threesome with him AND Kakuzu if you want extreme hardcore. That, and he's just drop-dead-sexy.

Konan- Yes, I go both ways, is that a crime? You have to admit that the origami angel of Akatsuki is probably the most, wait no, she IS the most gorgeous being in the Naruto Universe. I'd date her, and I'm pretty sure the lot of you would too. Too bad she was taken by Yahiko. The boy got lucky I tell ya.

Pein- The only thing I can think of is that I hope he has a vibrating piercing down low somewhere, and that he's badass. Will that do?


End file.
